


A Very Bad Doctor, Indeed

by cnroth



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bad Ensign, Discussions of sex, Established Relationship, F/M, Humor, M/M, Sex Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 03:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18512863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cnroth/pseuds/cnroth
Summary: Garak learns about a grand Starfleet Academy tradition—a sex game.





	A Very Bad Doctor, Indeed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Curator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curator/gifts), [sara_sedai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sara_sedai/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Bad Ensign](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17604374) by [Curator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curator/pseuds/Curator). 



> Thank you to Curator for prompting this game, and to sara_sedai for her beta work.
> 
> For context on the game, I highly recommend reading Curator’s brilliant ST:VOY fic, “Bad Ensign.” It has inspired (and is still inspiring!) multiple Bad Ensign stories across several Star Trek series, and I am very excited to contribute the very first DS9 story to her grand collection.

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” Jadzia curled her fingers around the warm mug of raktajino on the table in front of her. “He asked me about the game, so I told him.”  
  
“You should not have answered his questions,” Worf growled, keeping his voice low. “It was inappropriate.”  
  
“What’s so wrong with talking about sex?” She didn’t bother to match his volume. There was plenty of ambient noise in Quark’s bar, other patrons engaged in their own conversations.   
  
He glanced around as if worried someone else might hear. “It is a private matter, and he is merely a boy.”  
  
“Oh, come on, Worf. He’s twenty. And don’t tell me you weren’t thinking about sex when you were his age.”  
  
He scowled. “I will not dignify that comment with a response. You are a senior officer. You should show a little more self-control.”  
  
She peered over the lip of her mug as she lifted the raktajino to her lips. “You should learn to loosen up.”  
  
“And you should learn to mind your tongue.”  
  
Swallowing her drink, she set down the mug and scoffed. “My tongue isn’t the problem.”  
  
“What are you suggesting?”  
  
She crossed her arms. “I’m not suggesting anything. I’m _telling_ you that sometimes you act like an uptight prude.”  
  
He slammed his half-empty glass of prune juice on the table, liquid splashing over the rim. “I do not have to take this.” With that, he shoved to his feet and stormed away.  
  
“What was that all about?” Julian asked, sitting with Garak just a couple tables over.  
  
“Oh don’t mind him,” she said sardonically as she slid into a seat next to Julian. “He’s just mad that I told Nog about my experiences playing Bad Ensign.”  
  
Julian snorted. “As if he never played.”  
  
“That’s what I said.” She set her mug on the table. “But he insists he didn’t.”

“Come on,” Julian said. “Everyone played at least once. Even my Vulcan roommate played.”

Jadzia’s eyebrows rose. “You had a Vulcan roommate?”

“For one very long, very dull semester. Then he requested a transfer and I never saw him again.” He puffed out his chest. “I suppose he simply couldn’t stand my charm.”  
  
“Pardon my ignorance,” Garak said, “but what exactly is Bad Ensign?”  
  
“It’s a game we played at the academy,” Julian said. “It’s been a tradition since... honestly, I’m not even sure how long it’s been around.”  
  
“Since the academy was founded,” Jadzia said.  
  
Julian sipped at his drink. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“What kind of game is it?” Garak asked.  
  
Jadzia flashed a wicked smile. “A sex game, of course.”  
  
“Quite a fun one, too,” Julian added.  
  
“I see,” Garak said. “And how, exactly, does one play this game?”  
  
“One of you takes on the role of captain,” Jadzia said, “and the other is an ensign under the captain’s command. The ensign is called to the captain’s office because of poor behavior—being late for shifts, making mistakes on reports, or really anything you can come up with. Then the ensign says—“ She leaned over the table, taking on a seductive tone. “‘I guess I’m just a bad ensign. A bad, bad, _very_ bad ensign.’”

Garak’s face split with a wide smile.

Jadzia continued, leaning back in her chair. “Then the ensign tries to seduce the captain, and the captain tries to resist the ensign’s advances. If either of you is uncomfortable, you can call ‘red alert’ at any time to stop the game. Other than that, you play until either the captain gives in or the ensign gives up.”  
  
“How fascinating,” Garak said. “And every cadet plays this game during their time at Starfleet Academy?”  
  
“Apparently not.” Jadzia shot a withering look toward the exit Worf had stormed out of only minutes before.  
  
“Bullshit,” Julian said. “A strapping Klingon cadet like him? Chances are he was propositioned more than anyone else in his class. Surely he didn’t turn them all down.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Jadzia said. “If anyone could reject all those advances, it would be him.”  
  
“I take it neither of you were quite so resistant to this game,” Garak said.  
  
Julian chortled. “Definitely not.”  
  
“Let me put it this way, Garak,” Jadzia said. “If there had been some way of keeping score, I would have been the reigning champion of Bad Ensign.”  
  
“Only because our paths never crossed,” Julian said.  
  
She gave him a patronizing smile. “If I wasn’t already with Worf, and you weren’t with Garak, I’d make you eat those words.”  
  
“I would be more than happy to take your place in that challenge, Commander,” Garak said. “I should very much like to play this game. And you know, my dear doctor, that I do not play a game unless I am certain that I will win.”  
  
Jadzia’s smile turned into a grin. “You’re done for, Julian. I’ll bet you won’t beat Garak no matter which role you play.”  
  
“I’ll take that bet,” Julian said.  
  
“Now that is a very poor choice,” Garak said. “You must be a bad, bad, _very_ bad doctor, indeed.”  
  
Julian smirked, eyes locked on his partner’s. “We’ll just have to see about that, won’t we?”


End file.
